Handfasting: an ancient wedding tradition reimagined

My most commonly requested unity ritual over the last couple of years has been, by far, the ‘handfasting’, and it’s still growing in popularity as more couples request it for upcoming ceremonies. It’s not surprising, it’s very visually representative of two people joining themselves together and it has the added attraction of being adaptable – you can include multiple people, or just rely on your Celebrant, you can use any wording although an important part of the ritual is hearing consent from both parties, and you can use any type of binding to further personalise the tradition. Sailing ropes, dog leads, your Grandad’s tie, ribbons, coloured cords – even my own trouser suit belt – are all things I’ve performed hand fastings with (although admittedly the trouser belt was an emergency!)

But what IS a Handfasting, where does it come from and what does it symbolise?

A handfasting is a beautiful old Celtic tradition that’s basically a betrothal, the couple place their hands together and give their agreement for the betrothal. Back in the day the couple would then be given a year and a day, and if after this time they were still in agreement, they would be formally married. With their hands together the chosen ties are wrapped around their hands and knotted – this is where we get the phrase ‘tying the knot’ from.

Here’s a few of my favourite handfasting moments from this year:

Philippa & David (photos by Irini Koronaki)

Philippa and David had several traditions they wanted to incorporate into their ceremony to make it their own, two of these were a handfasting (which they wanted to involve their children in) and the 7 blessings (which they wanted to involve 7 friends in). To keep the ceremony flowing I combined these two rituals – the couple had chosen 7 themes and asked 7 friends to write a blessing for them. So I had them each present a ribbon to the couple to hold as they read them their blessing. After the 7 blessers had finished the children took the ribbons and performed the handfasting on the couple, leaving one ribbon until last which I bound all their hands together. So the couple were bound by the ribbons that had been blessed by their friends on themes such as communication, love and friendship, their wedding had then been blessed by the childrens participation in binding their hands, and they had all become united as one single family when I bound them all together. Not a dry eye in the house!

Maria Del Mar & Pierre

Both loved spending time on the water and over the last couple of years had been sailing as a (blended) family. They requested their handfasting to be performed with any type of ropes used with sailing, so I got them a cutting from a Halyard, a main sheet and a line and as I bound their hands I talked about the similarities between sailing and marriage, of which there are plenty!

Tracy & Adrian (Photos by Vassilis Ikoutas)

Tracy and Adrian had a beautifully simple elopement ceremony with just them and their children from previous marriages. They wanted their wedding ceremony to be as much about their families coming together as themselves as a couple. We started off the handfasting with each of the children tying their hands with their own rope and then I tied them all together at the end as they each placed their right hand on top of the couples.

As you can see, it’s a ritual that lends itself as much to intimate elopements as to bigger ceremonies.

Another favourite ceremony with a handfasting was my niece’s, Hope. But I especially loved what she did with the handfasting after! She mounted the knotted handfasting ribbons from their ceremony into a frame and onto a background of loving best wishes cut out from their wedding cards, and then presented it to her husband, Tom on their first wedding anniversary. I love the way it turned out and the thought that it will be forever on display in their home.

Here’s some more inspiration from handfasting ceremonies I’ve performed at wedding ceremonies in Greece:

Have you thought about including a handfasting in your ceremony? What was your inspiration? What would you use to tie your hands?

Get in touch to talk about tying the knot in Greece!